Somebody I Used to Know
A Wake-Up Call
I do not know why it took me so long to notice who my ex-husband was. As I said in an earlier post The Relationship Story, I thought everyone was authentic and genuine like me. I trusted people too much.
Early Days: A Promising Start
When I first met my ex-husband, I was still living at home with my parents. At the time, my ex-husband did not have a car and he used to walk to work every day. At the beginning of the marriage, everything was going well.
Intuition Kicks In: The Tenth Year
In my 10th year of marriage, my intuition began telling me something was not right. My ex-husband started acting differently, he seemed so much happier for no reason. He started working out and staying out late. He started to care more about his appearance. All of a sudden, before he left the house, he would make sure his appearance was on point. He would always talk about his friend Alex from work. He told me that Alex was a man. He would always hang out with Alex at work and after work. I started having dream of my ex-husband with several different women that I did not know, I thought a dream was just a dream. I used to get mad at myself for not trusting him. He made me doubt myself so much that I did not trust my own thoughts, even though I was right the entire time.
Manipulation and Self-Doubt
After he cheated on me, he made me feel like I needed him more than he needed me. He would say several times, I will never find a man better than him. He is a great father, and we are great providers for our children and household. Even though he was being rude and cocky towards me, leaving the relationship and starting over was something I did not want to do. My ex-husband tried his best to break my soul, he would make fun of my weight and my appearance. It made me feel low about myself. I thought something was wrong with me, so I started working out at the gym.
Immature Revelations: Discovering The Real Him
My ex-husband just wanted to do whatever he wanted to do without any consequences, he wanted to act like a teenager all over again as if he did not have a wife and children at home. He would stay away from home for days. He would miss the activities that our children would be involved with at school because he was too busy hanging out with his friends from work. I still took care of my responsibilities while he was out there doing whatever he wanted to do.
Realization and Self-Care
Now I completely understand that nothing was wrong with me, he was projecting onto me how he felt about himself. He would tell me these negative things because he did not like himself. I did not know this when we were together, so I thought something was wrong with me. Now that we are divorced and I have plenty of time to myself, I have self-care and self-worth and I will never lower my standards again.
Reclaiming My Power: Moving Forward
I am the prize, and it was always my energy that he wanted from me and now that we are divorced there is no more exchanging energy with me. Since I left home, I never looked back and kept moving forward. I was trying to bring balance into our relationship, but he was trying to bring destruction. I had to reclaim my power and believe in myself. Now, it's time for me to show up and shine.
©Copyright. All rights reserved.
We need your consent to load the translations
We use a third-party service to translate the website content that may collect data about your activity. Please review the details in the privacy policy and accept the service to view the translations.